Dear Panda Girl: the College's advice column

Dear Panda Girl,I always wait for guys to make the first move but I think most of the quality guys are too shy or nervous to be the first to flirt. I'm sick of just waiting around for a guy to talk to me and I want tomake the first move if they can't. The problem is I'm a little shy myself and I'm inexperienced with guys. How do I get up the courage to flirt first while not seeming too pushy or forward or accidentally giving the guy the wrong impression?

Sincerely,
Meek at Muhlenberg



Dear Meek at Muhlenberg,

You sound like a smart cookie, Meek, because you already see some things many people do not realize. You understand your own shyness is getting in the way, and you also understand that, men are just as shy and nervous when it comes to flirting as girls are.

The best way to find courage to make that first step is to really assess yourself and gain confidence in who you are. Guys love a girl who can approach them and say "hi, I know who I am, now I want to know who you are" (not literally of course). If you know who you are and what you want to emphasize when you meet new friends, the confidence will come naturally, and you won't need to worry over saying the wrong thing.

Let's face it; if the guy isn't interested in who you are, he's not worth it, so why show him anything other than the real you? Try sitting back and listing some of your favorite qualities about yourself. Remember these qualities to give yourself that extra boost when you are in a group, and want to approach a special someone. Or give this list a code name that when you think it, it gives you that shot of self esteem and a smile. I use this technique myself, my code word being panda (hence my nickname).

Another important note is to keep in mind is friendship first. Try to establish a friendly connection rather than a flirtatious one. After all, you want a man who you actually enjoy spending time with for reasons other than his manly (ahem) talents. Taking the thought of awkward flirtation out of it can help you feel much calmer.

I wish you oodles of luck,
Panda Girl


This week's advice for all:

Valentine's Day is this Sunday.

It means different things to different people. I congratulate those who plan on spending it with frolic, fun, and friends. I smile at those who are planning to spend some romantic time with loved ones.

And I remind all of those spending it alone: do not despair! Valentine's Day is a day of love, be it between lovers, friends, or family. Instead of moping about, gather with friends and bask in the love of friendship.

If you must be alone, spend it simply loving yourself. Watch a favorite movie, eat your favorite snacks, and curl up with your favorite book.

There are all different kinds of love in this world, be sure to enjoy every facet of it.