The Muhlenberg Weekly

Issue date: 11/18/04 Section: Focus

In our country, we recognize an individual's right to privacy. What could be more private than a person's decision whether or not to engage in sexual activity? To paraphrase a feminist slogan, "Not the church / not the state / only you decide / your sexual fate."

Those with traditional values, or strong religious values, are likely to argue that people should abstain from premarital sex; they might say that those who do have sex before marriage are women, or men, of loose morals.

There is an old taboo that those who engage in premarital sex are less committed to marriage, and therefore less likely to have a successful marriage. However, according to a 1993 study by sociologist Jay Teachman of Western Washington University, women who have premarital sex and cohabitate with their future spouse do not have a higher likelihood of divorce than women who do not have premarital sex or live with a partner prior to marriage.

Premarital sex and cohabitation have become steps in the courtship process. Teachman also found, however, that women who have multiple premarital sex partners have an enhanced risk of divorce. Other sociologists have suggested that future research look at the correlation between multiple premarital sex partners and divorce as the relationship between the two characteristics has yet to be explained.

The real dangers of sexual activity are not necessarily when one engages in said activity, but how one engages in sexual activity i.e. are you practicing safe sex? For heterosexual women, birth control is a must, whether it is some form of oral contraceptive, a contraceptive patch, vaginal ring or a diaphragm.

However, these methods do not protect against HIV infection and other sexually transmitted diseases. To prevent STDs, sexual partners must use condoms. Condoms, when used properly, have an effectiveness rate of about 85 percent.

The bottom line: you have the right to have sex as you wish, just please do it safely. Having sex is a personal choice that each individual must make for himself or herself. Nevertheless, safety is key in both physical and emotional respects, and the proper precautions should always be taken to ensure that no one gets hurt.

Emotionally, only you can determine when you want to have sex. You shouldn't feel pressure from society, the media or your partner to have it. Your partner should be someone whom you trust and respect who trusts and respects you.

Ultimately, it is your decision -- one that deserves careful and heartfelt thought.

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