2008 Woodie Awards
On the road of life, heed the signs
Jason Klein
Issue date: 12/9/04 Section: Op/Ed
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We need more big yellow signs in the world to tell us what to do. I am absolutely positive that there would be no murders if we had a sign depicting that someone shooting another person with a gun is bad.
I think people just do not realize that, if only we had a sign to tell them. Signs on highways that tell us the speed limit work so well. When was the last time you ever heard of anyone speeding? Never, of course - the signs tell us not to speed, so we don't.
Is it not disturbing to anybody else that Americans lack so much common sense that we need signs to tell us what is right and wrong. The thing is - signs do not work.
If people are going to do something, a big yellow sign is not going to stop them. Stop and really think about it.
A driver who probably didn't see the "No talking on your cell phone while driving sign" was probably cruising along on Chew Street going a little quick because they didn't see the "speed limit" sign. I'd even be willing to bet that the perpetrator was not wearing their seatbelt because, I bet they did not see the "Buckle Up" sign either.
Anyway, this person is cruising along and she fails to notice a human being crossing the street - at a crosswalk no less! How stupid are we to think that if only we had a big yellow pedestrian crossing sign this accident could have been avoided!
No. To think that the moron driving the car, who failed to see the poor girl (who might I just state is doing ok after hours of emergency surgery, thank God it was not more serious) would have seen a big yellow pedestrian crossing sign and then noticed a pedestrian crossing is absolutely ludicrous!
This person probably had the reflexes of a dead turtle and the brains of a sea sponge. For those non-science people please let me elaborate this analogy: dead things do not have reflexes and sea sponges do not have a brain.
Signs are not the answer to the problems we have on campus here or anywhere. Anyone who is stupid enough to hit a person and not stop driving is not going to have his or her behavior or his or her alertness altered by a yellow sign.
If anything it will be more distracting because their primordial brains will take too long to process the information contained on the sign.
Unfortunately there are still some human beings who are in Darwin's waiting room.
Until evolution catches up, we are left with a society loaded with big yellow signs, and with "people"too moronic to comprehend or adhere to the messages the signs convey.
I think people just do not realize that, if only we had a sign to tell them. Signs on highways that tell us the speed limit work so well. When was the last time you ever heard of anyone speeding? Never, of course - the signs tell us not to speed, so we don't.
Is it not disturbing to anybody else that Americans lack so much common sense that we need signs to tell us what is right and wrong. The thing is - signs do not work.
If people are going to do something, a big yellow sign is not going to stop them. Stop and really think about it.
A driver who probably didn't see the "No talking on your cell phone while driving sign" was probably cruising along on Chew Street going a little quick because they didn't see the "speed limit" sign. I'd even be willing to bet that the perpetrator was not wearing their seatbelt because, I bet they did not see the "Buckle Up" sign either.
Anyway, this person is cruising along and she fails to notice a human being crossing the street - at a crosswalk no less! How stupid are we to think that if only we had a big yellow pedestrian crossing sign this accident could have been avoided!
No. To think that the moron driving the car, who failed to see the poor girl (who might I just state is doing ok after hours of emergency surgery, thank God it was not more serious) would have seen a big yellow pedestrian crossing sign and then noticed a pedestrian crossing is absolutely ludicrous!
This person probably had the reflexes of a dead turtle and the brains of a sea sponge. For those non-science people please let me elaborate this analogy: dead things do not have reflexes and sea sponges do not have a brain.
Signs are not the answer to the problems we have on campus here or anywhere. Anyone who is stupid enough to hit a person and not stop driving is not going to have his or her behavior or his or her alertness altered by a yellow sign.
If anything it will be more distracting because their primordial brains will take too long to process the information contained on the sign.
Unfortunately there are still some human beings who are in Darwin's waiting room.
Until evolution catches up, we are left with a society loaded with big yellow signs, and with "people"too moronic to comprehend or adhere to the messages the signs convey.