2008 Woodie Awards
horoscopes
Issue date: 2/10/05 Section: Life!
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Aries
"That's a horrific fake! At least my knockoff says 'Prada.' Yours says 'Prado!'"
Ladies, ladies, ladies, I know as the days count down to the infamous Valentine's Day, you yearn more then ever for a hand to hold and a shoulder to lean on. But please, don't settle for just anyone--or anything. Wait for that someone who deserves you!
Taurus
"Well, the problem is you can't fight off an army of blood-thirsty Vikings with a shenai, it's illogical."
Oo, aren't you the hot commodity this month. Men with their beastly hormones will be flocking to you like women to a sale. Choose a few, and let the others loose. It's not fair to the rest of women out there still looking for some love.
Gemini
"Do you think good ol' fate is going to deliver my information to your doorstep?"
Been looking at a certain person for quite some time? Make a move. Perhaps they feel the same way about you but can't read your flirtations. Be bold, brave and take a risk. You may be rejected, but at least you tried and can now find something else to obsess about.
Cancer
"Well, if we're meant to meet again, we'll meet again."
Don't go second-guessing a decision you made. As with multiple-choice tests, your first response is usually the most dependable. Sometimes. Well, not really. But, if you're still having major doubts, seek a friend's advice. Sometimes an outside perspective makes all the difference with this type of thing.
Leo
"I hate to break up a good thing, but we have half a dozen strippers waiting for us, we're late."
People can be so stupid at times. Don't go out looking for something that you think will be bigger and better. If you compare fantasy with reality, fantasy will always look better. But reality has so much more bite and intensity. Appreciate it.
Virgo
"When did you get so unimaginably romantic?"
Although that person you end up with may not be that skinny, blond and beautiful someone you were looking for, appreciate the gesture. Know that you have someone who cares for you maybe in more ways than one. Perhaps their action will make you view them differently.
"That's a horrific fake! At least my knockoff says 'Prada.' Yours says 'Prado!'"
Ladies, ladies, ladies, I know as the days count down to the infamous Valentine's Day, you yearn more then ever for a hand to hold and a shoulder to lean on. But please, don't settle for just anyone--or anything. Wait for that someone who deserves you!
Taurus
"Well, the problem is you can't fight off an army of blood-thirsty Vikings with a shenai, it's illogical."
Oo, aren't you the hot commodity this month. Men with their beastly hormones will be flocking to you like women to a sale. Choose a few, and let the others loose. It's not fair to the rest of women out there still looking for some love.
Gemini
"Do you think good ol' fate is going to deliver my information to your doorstep?"
Been looking at a certain person for quite some time? Make a move. Perhaps they feel the same way about you but can't read your flirtations. Be bold, brave and take a risk. You may be rejected, but at least you tried and can now find something else to obsess about.
Cancer
"Well, if we're meant to meet again, we'll meet again."
Don't go second-guessing a decision you made. As with multiple-choice tests, your first response is usually the most dependable. Sometimes. Well, not really. But, if you're still having major doubts, seek a friend's advice. Sometimes an outside perspective makes all the difference with this type of thing.
Leo
"I hate to break up a good thing, but we have half a dozen strippers waiting for us, we're late."
People can be so stupid at times. Don't go out looking for something that you think will be bigger and better. If you compare fantasy with reality, fantasy will always look better. But reality has so much more bite and intensity. Appreciate it.
Virgo
"When did you get so unimaginably romantic?"
Although that person you end up with may not be that skinny, blond and beautiful someone you were looking for, appreciate the gesture. Know that you have someone who cares for you maybe in more ways than one. Perhaps their action will make you view them differently.