2008 Woodie Awards
Responsiblity for negative feelings starts with yourself
Lily Hatfield
Issue date: 11/16/06 Section: Life!
What if there were no feelings? What if you never had to feel anything, ever again? You would never feel sad or lonely. You would never feel the acidic pain of heartbreak or the crushing weight of disappointment. You would no longer dread the feeling of shame after doing something bad, and you would never again have to feel sorry for yourself.
It might sound wonderful to get rid of all of those nasty feelings and experiences, but obviously, there is not a way to go through your romantic life without experiencing the rollercoaster ride of emotions that come along with being an active participant in the dating game.
Without sadness, grief and despair, your world may sound like a paradise. A place where actions have no consequences and you never have to feel uncomfortable or unpleasant. No more waiting to get your spirits back up. But at the same time, these negative and unpleasant emotions have a polar opposite. Along with sadness, grief and despair, you have happiness, joy and hope. You can't go through life without your bad emotions and feelings just as much as you can live without the good ones.
We feel like crap after we have done something bad for a reason. It is not some all powerful force trying to make our lives miserable, but it is something inside us all that is trying to teach a lesson, trying to adapt and learn from our experiences. If you cheat on your girlfriend and she finds out, you are responsible for your own feelings of sadness, grief and guilt. Some might say that the cheater is also responsible for the feelings of the person who was cheated on, but this gives the cheater way too much power over the other person. They don't deserve to have that. You are responsible for your own feelings. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
In the bitter sadness of the end of a relationship, there can be many complex emotions. Although you may feel like your world has crumbled around you, you can look back and try to recover something from the rubble. Maybe you learned, after several other failed relationships, what a real one is supposed to be like. A good relationship can end just like bad one; it depends on what you take from it. What are you going to do with the negative experiences or feelings? Are you going to let them sit in your heart and erode away at your soul, or are you going to take them and examine them, as painful as it may sound?
It might sound wonderful to get rid of all of those nasty feelings and experiences, but obviously, there is not a way to go through your romantic life without experiencing the rollercoaster ride of emotions that come along with being an active participant in the dating game.
Without sadness, grief and despair, your world may sound like a paradise. A place where actions have no consequences and you never have to feel uncomfortable or unpleasant. No more waiting to get your spirits back up. But at the same time, these negative and unpleasant emotions have a polar opposite. Along with sadness, grief and despair, you have happiness, joy and hope. You can't go through life without your bad emotions and feelings just as much as you can live without the good ones.
We feel like crap after we have done something bad for a reason. It is not some all powerful force trying to make our lives miserable, but it is something inside us all that is trying to teach a lesson, trying to adapt and learn from our experiences. If you cheat on your girlfriend and she finds out, you are responsible for your own feelings of sadness, grief and guilt. Some might say that the cheater is also responsible for the feelings of the person who was cheated on, but this gives the cheater way too much power over the other person. They don't deserve to have that. You are responsible for your own feelings. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
In the bitter sadness of the end of a relationship, there can be many complex emotions. Although you may feel like your world has crumbled around you, you can look back and try to recover something from the rubble. Maybe you learned, after several other failed relationships, what a real one is supposed to be like. A good relationship can end just like bad one; it depends on what you take from it. What are you going to do with the negative experiences or feelings? Are you going to let them sit in your heart and erode away at your soul, or are you going to take them and examine them, as painful as it may sound?