2008 Woodie Awards
Respect is the real key to fulfilling love
Dan Papperman
Issue date: 3/1/07 Section: Op/Ed
- Page 1 of 1
To the Editor:
Last week's "Love & Life" column, "One night stands: Step aside men", struck a violent chord within me. Hatfield's claims, that women should "find the inner jerk and slut inside [themselves]", that men should not expect any sort of affection and that men should bow down to every sexual (and other) need of women in a one night stand, are ridiculous and hurtful messages. I believe that both parties participating in a one night stand or any kind of sexual encounter should be expected to tailor to the wants and needs of their partner. Stating that men have no feelings or emotions when it comes to one night stands or any intimate encounters is extremely offensive, and suggesting that women "take back the power" and "be the one(s) with no feelings or emotions" will not correct this stereotype.
It is terrible to be promoting the idea that by being rude, insensitive and degrading toward your partner, you will be "taking charge of your emotional well-being and your sexual gratification." Call me crazy, but I think it is possible for one night stands to be consensual and that both parties can walk away feeling gratified and fulfilled without being cold and vindictive. Some people may argue that sex and being intimate do not require deep emotional feelings; however, I think most people would agree that a certain level of respect and understanding for your partner is necessary for a positive sexual experience as well as healthy relationships.
If you are not prepared to accommodate the needs and feelings of a potential sexual partner, maybe you should not be participating in sexual activities. If you are not able to respect others, why should you expect people to respect you? The bottom line is, respect your partner and you will have a much more fulfilling and gratifying experience, whether you are male or female.
Dan Papperman '07
Last week's "Love & Life" column, "One night stands: Step aside men", struck a violent chord within me. Hatfield's claims, that women should "find the inner jerk and slut inside [themselves]", that men should not expect any sort of affection and that men should bow down to every sexual (and other) need of women in a one night stand, are ridiculous and hurtful messages. I believe that both parties participating in a one night stand or any kind of sexual encounter should be expected to tailor to the wants and needs of their partner. Stating that men have no feelings or emotions when it comes to one night stands or any intimate encounters is extremely offensive, and suggesting that women "take back the power" and "be the one(s) with no feelings or emotions" will not correct this stereotype.
It is terrible to be promoting the idea that by being rude, insensitive and degrading toward your partner, you will be "taking charge of your emotional well-being and your sexual gratification." Call me crazy, but I think it is possible for one night stands to be consensual and that both parties can walk away feeling gratified and fulfilled without being cold and vindictive. Some people may argue that sex and being intimate do not require deep emotional feelings; however, I think most people would agree that a certain level of respect and understanding for your partner is necessary for a positive sexual experience as well as healthy relationships.
If you are not prepared to accommodate the needs and feelings of a potential sexual partner, maybe you should not be participating in sexual activities. If you are not able to respect others, why should you expect people to respect you? The bottom line is, respect your partner and you will have a much more fulfilling and gratifying experience, whether you are male or female.
Dan Papperman '07