2008 Woodie Awards
Hey you, take your clothes off
Rachel Grinenko and Alexis Kaczmarczik
Issue date: 11/29/07 Section: Life!
You're on vacation in France. You're on a beach. You're wearing your new bathing suit. The 75 year old next to you is not. He is quite naked. Yet he is smiling like today is the best day of his life. You think, I want to be that happy. So you take off your top. You feel awkward. Suddenly, the European breeze on your American nakedness feels surprisingly nice.
So you wonder. Why can you do this here, but on the Jersey Shore you would get arrested? How come nudity in other countries is the norm while in America it's only saved for porn stars and Lindsay Lohan?
Let's centralize. Your house, your bed. Sleeping naked feels wonderful. Being skin-to-sheet can make you feel as good as that 75 year old guy on the beach. Still, some people are really uncomfortable sleeping naked, even when they're sleeping alone. We don't get this. However, we've come across quite a few people, usually men, who won't strip down. We find this unusual because guys are usually the ones scrambling to unbuckle their pants when they know sex is coming. But after sex, they're the first ones to put their clothes back on. It's not like we haven't just seen everything boys. We know what you're packin'. Or, lackin'. Some post-sex, skin to skin spoonage never hurt anyone. In fact, in can often lead to round two. Plus, it makes morning sex a whole lot easier to get into. You're already tired, you have to avoid morning breath, so why add any extra obstacles?
Look at it this way: You sleep naked, you wake up next to a naked girl. You might as well do it now before you're tied down to a wife and gravity takes over.
We all know that girls have body image problems. This is a given. This is why we call ourselves fat and compare ourselves to other girls and order a salad at dinner but then end up eating all the fries off your plate. It drives all you guys crazy but you just have to deal with it. If we can put our self-loathing aside long enough to spend a whole night naked, so can you.
So you wonder. Why can you do this here, but on the Jersey Shore you would get arrested? How come nudity in other countries is the norm while in America it's only saved for porn stars and Lindsay Lohan?
Let's centralize. Your house, your bed. Sleeping naked feels wonderful. Being skin-to-sheet can make you feel as good as that 75 year old guy on the beach. Still, some people are really uncomfortable sleeping naked, even when they're sleeping alone. We don't get this. However, we've come across quite a few people, usually men, who won't strip down. We find this unusual because guys are usually the ones scrambling to unbuckle their pants when they know sex is coming. But after sex, they're the first ones to put their clothes back on. It's not like we haven't just seen everything boys. We know what you're packin'. Or, lackin'. Some post-sex, skin to skin spoonage never hurt anyone. In fact, in can often lead to round two. Plus, it makes morning sex a whole lot easier to get into. You're already tired, you have to avoid morning breath, so why add any extra obstacles?
Look at it this way: You sleep naked, you wake up next to a naked girl. You might as well do it now before you're tied down to a wife and gravity takes over.
We all know that girls have body image problems. This is a given. This is why we call ourselves fat and compare ourselves to other girls and order a salad at dinner but then end up eating all the fries off your plate. It drives all you guys crazy but you just have to deal with it. If we can put our self-loathing aside long enough to spend a whole night naked, so can you.