2008 Woodie Awards
A little trip down under
Rachel Grinenko and Alexis Kaczmarczik
Issue date: 2/7/08 Section: Life!
Oral sex. Kinda gross, but feels kinda good. The concept seems disgusting: you are putting your mouth on their hoo-has and ding-dongs. You are also going to get a salty little treat if you know how to work it correctly.
Oral sex can be awkward and makes many people uncomfortable, but once you relax enough to be able to enjoy it, it can, as that annoying, over-played song states, "give you tingles in a silly place".
Let's start with standard boy on girl. Not all girls like guys to go down on them. It's pretty much a make or break deal with us. We didn't invite you over to slobber all over us. Don't be gross. The tongue is the strongest muscle in the body for a reason. Use our body language and sounds as cues for where to go, what to do, and when to keep going.
Sometimes, if we're really into it, we like a little extra sensation. Time to introduce some manual labor, aka, use your fingers as well. If we grab your hair, that's good. If we try to push your head away, that's bad.
If we take you by the shoulders and pull you on top of us, go with it. It means you did something right and now we're ready for the next step. Not all girls can orgasm from oral sex, but it can still be great foreplay.
Some of you guys may be nervous to give a girl oral. It's tricky business down there and it's not like there's a specific formula to make your girl orgasm.
Every girl is different, and requires a different technique. Forget what your friends in eighth grade said about spelling the alphabet out in cursive and trust your instincts. If you think too hard about pleasing your girl, you will lose spontaneity and the whole situation will become too technical.
Oral sex is supposed to be fun and pleasurable, not a job. And for all you guys who are too grossed out to go down on a girl? We can't force you to do anything, but just remember that you get what you give.
Time to move on to girl on boy. You boys looooove getting head. We have never met a guy who has said, "No, seriously, please get your mouth away from my crotch. How was your day?" If there's a chance for you to get a little blow j, you're going to take it.
Oral sex can be awkward and makes many people uncomfortable, but once you relax enough to be able to enjoy it, it can, as that annoying, over-played song states, "give you tingles in a silly place".
Let's start with standard boy on girl. Not all girls like guys to go down on them. It's pretty much a make or break deal with us. We didn't invite you over to slobber all over us. Don't be gross. The tongue is the strongest muscle in the body for a reason. Use our body language and sounds as cues for where to go, what to do, and when to keep going.
Sometimes, if we're really into it, we like a little extra sensation. Time to introduce some manual labor, aka, use your fingers as well. If we grab your hair, that's good. If we try to push your head away, that's bad.
If we take you by the shoulders and pull you on top of us, go with it. It means you did something right and now we're ready for the next step. Not all girls can orgasm from oral sex, but it can still be great foreplay.
Some of you guys may be nervous to give a girl oral. It's tricky business down there and it's not like there's a specific formula to make your girl orgasm.
Every girl is different, and requires a different technique. Forget what your friends in eighth grade said about spelling the alphabet out in cursive and trust your instincts. If you think too hard about pleasing your girl, you will lose spontaneity and the whole situation will become too technical.
Oral sex is supposed to be fun and pleasurable, not a job. And for all you guys who are too grossed out to go down on a girl? We can't force you to do anything, but just remember that you get what you give.
Time to move on to girl on boy. You boys looooove getting head. We have never met a guy who has said, "No, seriously, please get your mouth away from my crotch. How was your day?" If there's a chance for you to get a little blow j, you're going to take it.